Indiana, Louisville and Kentucky fans appear calm and collected RIGHT NOW, but underneath (aye, deep in their tormented little hearts) the beast lies in wait for its moment to rage against all who block the road to the final four. The truly mad maintain their irrational hope for the slaughter to pass them by, but alas, many will fall, the twisted emotional wreckage of the defeated. Legion, indeed, are those who will engage in mob hysteria or retreat to the debilitating solace of self-administered medicinal extracts. ‘Tis a sad tale, ’tis true.
Regardless of how YOUR compulsion survives the social mayhem, though, you’ll make some marked improvement in this month’s session as we engage in some truly insane FileMaker therapy!
We are really proud of the progress made by Byron “Baby Steps” Songer, whom we all agree (don’t we?) did such a great job last month peeling back the layers of the relational database approach from the standpoint of the recently-escaped FileMaker user. B.S. was scheduled for release into the general population this month to share his experience at modeling a “reality” with more self-confidence and less anxiety. Unfortunately, at the last minute he had a severe setback. While they tell us he is making great strides daily, they want to hold him for another few weeks–for observation (they say). Regardless, we fully expect his complete recovery and intend to welcome him back into the mainstream at our April group session, where, if we all listen very quietly (and don’t make any sudden moves), we might persuade him to share more of his story of relational redemption.
One of the more profound tragedies of our little Cuckoo’s Nest (and the just-announced 2012 Substance Abuse Awareness poster child), Jonathan “Coke Head” Fletcher, will attempt to maintain his phosphoric-acid-bathed hold on reality long enough to host a further discussion into the subject loosely known as “FileMaker Standards.” While several REALLY SMART FileMaker-types have been the authors of this online project for a few years, we all know what “genius” is only “a fine line” away from, don’t we? Yup.
They don’t let Alan “Angry” Bird out of his cage very often, but with a promise of the right meds and the watchful eye of several burly orderlies, it was decided to let him present his new project, a database of our monthly tips, tricks, techniques, and resources that he will cough up before our very eyes. You may call it mass hysteria; you may call it a sad case of group-think gone wrong, but do come see for yourself. Come back for monthly visits to the ward as we flesh-out a totally psychotic solution for all of us to use. (Catch the note below about “homework” for this segment.)
Brian “don’t laugh at him” Ginn hopes to have at least a brief moment of lucidity this month as he shares a cool trick he discovered while mesmerized by the ones and zeros that flood his vision most of the time. It sounds way better than that electro-shock therapy we had the other day. (But you may decide otherwise.)
As usual, our lunatic ravings will be preceded by that tasty brown bag repast you brought (better to bring your own because you never know what they put in the food here, shhhh!) and the free soft drinks provided by the staff (hey, wait…).
Show up at noon and you can count on being carried out kicking and screaming no later than 3:30…
…um…
-ish.
–The Committee
Alan, Bill, Brian, Byron, & Jonathan
Date & Time:
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (FOURTH Tuesday from now on)
12:00 PM - 3:30 PM (-ish)
BYOB (Bring Your Own Brown Bag)
Soft drinks provided
Location:
1234 South 3rd Street (In the St. James area of Old Louisville)
Louisville, KY 40203
FileMaker 101 Classroom here:
1234 S 3rd St, Louisville, KY 40203
HOMEWORK:
Due to the mob-participation nature of Mr. Bird’s presentation, he has asked that you download the Developer Storage file from Foundation Database Systems and familiarize yourself with some of its basic workings. Bring it to the meeting (so as not to tick him off) and work in your own version as Alan presents it on-screen.
Read about it here: http://www.foundationdbs.com/downloads.html
Download it here: http://www.foundationdbs.com/Downloads/DeveloperStorage_1.0v2.zip